Better to desire what you don’t have, than to have what you never desired!

In this age of busy lives, we hardly get time to be cordial to the dynamics beneath our surface static, to listen to our body and mind and somehow if we get it, we often find it complaining. However it always remains there in our subconscious mind that perhaps we want to do something, which is important as well as desirable and we want to divert our attention towards it, but eventually it leads to procrastination as a result of lack in mind-body communication. And life keeps going on juggling with the flotsams of everyday life. And in this process, we tend to do few unintended compromises.

I would like to comment on the way we make our choices and negative subsequent effects of them because of the absence of continuous introspection. It’s true we don’t have control over everything what happens, but we surely do exert a field of influence for having the power of choice. So it becomes important to be aware of these choices and make them consciously based on our understanding and belief. And when it comes to the choices we make in case of relationships, their consequences can really be vital. It actually happens quite often that people sometimes even admit to settling for someone who is not really what they wanted, but they think at least they are not alone or no longer left in solitary isolation. It probably works as an immediate fix, but unfortunately may not last long.

It actually gets defined by the set points of our personality. Our set points always drag us towards what we want, what we really have desire for! So be aware of yourself, reflect upon your choices, and give yourself enough time and space to think about what you really want, instead of grappling with the aftermath of doing things, which you never desired. But again is it possible that you can always get what you want? Obviously not, but at the same time it’s true that in spite of fear of the consequences associated with even a well thought-out choice, particularly of this kind where you can only be confident up to a certain extent, and are surrounded by anticipations of future, you would always find easier to live with this situation than the one which you feel compromised in!  We certainly find ourselves circumscribed by thoughts like “What would be HIS choice! What extent I could be part of it!” even as there is nothing wrong in believing yourself stumble one day upon the one who could fathom your soul! So let your higher self be the ultimate guide and make sure you remain conscious during the course of this journey of discernment and let it meander through the states it desires to, let God help you to decide and believe who the special one is and I really wish you all find your soul-mates some day, if you haven’t found yet! :)

She is no less of a feminist!

At times, we hear it coming, mostly from the types of self proclaimed feminists, “If men can do this and that, why can’t we?” but is this statement really fathomable enough? This is actually one of most unreasonable comment I have ever come across! Most women keep fighting for the idea of equality and unknowingly try to fit themselves in men’s standards, that is sadly exactly opposite to what they are trying to do-asserting the magnitude of being a woman! Aren’t they making mess out of the real value of womanhood as such?

I remember a movie called Astitva, which is a very sensible flick in terms of what Director wants to convey and also in terms of its ability to trigger the thought in viewers’ mind, the definition of feminism!

Simply put, it’s about having the right to act or think whatever is necessary to be progressive as a human being, like a man has! But unfortunately, our society is badly defected by otherwise notions, which always lead a woman to be against a man and even women often perceive it in wrong sense! Family life has been underrated upto such an extent that women tend to think of it as a slavery and they think they are being submissive if they opt to only take care of their family. As we can see in a character Meghna of that movie, she thinks an educated woman cannot be the one who wishes to be a house-wife! Actually the problem is with the notion existing in our so called modern developed society that managing home is the waste of a woman’s talent and she can be considered to be equal to men only when she can do the same thing as a man does. Actually I want to raise this question only, that if a woman chooses to be a housewife, how do we, as a society look upon it?

I think a woman opts to stay at home, just because of the fact that she wants to give her children or family a culturally and emotionally perfect environment, which is sometimes not possible when both man and woman are working and since men are so strongly socialized to be the “providers”, that to see this happening other way round would be quite unacceptable, even to women.

I hope I am not mistaken here. I just want to say that if a woman, by her very own choice wishes to be a house-wife, she deserves immense respect and admiration for this and we should try to change this wrong notion existing in our society that “managing” money is anyway less important than earning money.

Despite all these facts, I strongly advocate this fact that a woman needs not “sacrifice” herself for the sake of family and even when they both are working professionals’ things could be worked out very well, but It surely requires a wonderful understanding between man and woman and of course, it’s possible up to an extent, but surely not for lifetime! A time surely comes when you have to go through these narrow choices and act upon them. So I feel very first thing is that every man must understand this fact what a great responsibility a woman performs while being a house-wife so that it no longer remains like an inferiority. I mean woman must not work just to prove that they are not inferior to man. And then the understanding should get developed how they want to align their professional lives with other priorities. So precisely speaking, it’s not about who is better, who is not! Man and woman are two different creations and they both play very important roles in ensuring the progression of an upright society. So let it be the choice of a woman if she wants to be a housewife. She is the one, responsible for the perpetuation of species. Respect them, admire them and assist them to find equilibrium. Actually I met one Indian family here in Korea. She is a well educated intelligent lady and her confidence in saying, “I know how important I am for my kids”, corroborated this fact exceptionally well!

A Trekking Event

Lately I had been to a trekking event. It was a Saturday, 19^th December, 2009. I was planning to write about it from quite some time, but today only it could materialize. So here it goes: :)

We embarked on to this short trip at 0630 hrs, in the chilly morning, when Celsius scale was pushing itself below -15 degrees. We all were fully covered with number of layers of warm clothes with barely allowing eyes, the exposure of outside atmosphere.

We were six people, all office colleagues with two of them more than 40 years in age. Truly commendable spirit they were in! In fact, these two people had trekked this mountain numerous times before also, but they were equally excited to go for it once again.

Initial few minutes of trekking are seldom an aberration and it’s those few minutes after which you start realizing that you are in a different ambience altogether and totally engulfed by the elements of Mother Nature.

On our way, very soon we started witnessing the beautiful recital of Nature- the instant when atmospheric refraction causes the sun to be seen while it is still below the horizon! Yes, the optical illusion, the inception of a beautiful morning when we all were ready to welcome Sun god, originating from the backdrops of the mountains. The beauty exemplified- the beautiful Sunrise. And Sarah, a good friend and one of the companions in this trekking event, captured it nicely. Take a look:

           Just before Sunrise

Going with a single objective in mind; Telling anecdotes and passing amusing remarks, spending some time while sharing and empathizing with each other, it was very enjoyable. That’s probably the cheapest form of happiness one can ask for and indeed I was feeling it!

Koreans, in general are very kind and shy. They are not very talkative and verbose in the first few meetings. But as you spend a little time with them and try to give them that comfortable space to share and converse, it goes very smoothly thereafter.

The way to mountain top, even though it was just 6.5 kilometers in distance was adventurous, specially the last couple of kilometers, which demands that little extra perseverance and tenacity! The situation when you have no more strength to walk and you still try to push yourself to walk those extra steps, is embracing in its own way and enthralling when you enjoy those tiny achievements. Obviously, it has a lot to do with your physical stamina and sustainability, but more so with your state of mind as well.


0905 hrs:
So finally we were at the apex of the mountain! It’s named as Kwang-Gyo, literally means teaching of the light, in English. Few pics for your visual treat :)

                                          We, at the top of the mountain :)

Audrey and Sarah, Two biggest artiste, or entertainers, or whatever synonyms you wish to use! But the truth is they really rock while being together! Two beauties in their usual amusing act! :)

 Audrey with light sword: A glimpse of photography talent of Sarah :)        

In that scorching cold and windy weather, I felt as though my brain has started vibrating at some strange frequency! And I must say after coming here only, I have realized that there exists something so cold, that can even blow in the form of air! But despite all those not so usual facts, I was enjoying it and so much so as I requested others to stay there for few more minutes! We shared few eatables, fruits and in particular, the special home-made Honey Tea, that Sarah got! And soon we all started marching back.


1011 hrs:
We all came down within just little more than one hour. We went to a restaurant to have lunch and were quickly headed to our respective homes.
Sense of togetherness really works wonders and thankfully there were few nice people along so it was definitely a very pleasing experience. And really if you are fortunate enough to have such lovely hearts and minds to accompany you, the journey turns out quite entertaining no matter how many struggles you see through! Although this thought is pertaining to our short trekking journey, but can indeed be extrapolated to the journey of life as well.

Intrigued Fear of being what you are!

This time New Year day was very different! Perhaps This thoughtful state of mind turning everything different nowadays! And this time, all those thoughts were dwelling around the fact that Time is fleeting. It really waits for no one. It keeps you on your toes and lets you realize what you are, with every experience you go through, every moment you live! Imparting enough opportunities to learn, to grow as a professional, as a brother, as a son, as a friend, as an individual! New learning’s and you are getting ready for new experiences which Time is ready to give! 

There are many things you practice in this journey of life, but there is a fear deep within for being human even about the positive aspects, those which also get along with a Fear!

For your parents, you are precocious; but you understand that this precociousness comes with a lot of responsibility, so Fear if sometime you couldn’t empathize what your parents wanted or desired! 

For your sisters, you are the bundle of solutions for every existing problem in the world! But Fear if they get into a problem which you couldn’t have a solution of! 

In your work fraternity, you are professionally good; But Fear lest you get entrapped in complacency sometime because you want to make sure you are not thinking about something to be easy for you know yourself the best. You are just audacious enough, who’s trying to learn the extent of your own limits, thus to remain conscious, to remind yourself about your extents, about your capabilities, about your strengths and weaknesses and keep them in the right proportion to make things work! 

For your friends, you are cogent, you think good, you have an approach towards life; a life with number of very normal things, which they find unique and special; but seldom you live with a Fear of an intuition that you have to be at your best throughout, to retain your friends else you may lose them even if they are among the best ones! 

Indeed, there is auspiciousness about all such thoughts, but just restrained and self-possessed with uncertainty!

So you turn to Almighty to ask for strength, to keep performing in all aspects, to remain not only philosophical but pragmatic too, to practice everything what you have learnt from your own continuous introspections, reflections and repercussions of the people and to retain this temperament which helps to obviate such fears. And perhaps you realize you feel elderly enough to be ready for greater responsibilities, with the dawn of 2010!

Richness of Thoughts, But What If it is restrained by your Ability of Creation!

Sometimes he sounds more intelligent than how much he actually is! 
Sometimes he sounds more stupid than how much he really is!

He instantly felt today he needs to talk about few things; when he needs not sound intelligent; when he needs not explain what he wants to say! Few beautiful thoughts find home in his heart, and desire to practice and inspiration to manifest them into reality gives enough confidence to go ahead and follow his heart!

But suddenly a mercurial thought in mind; is he really able to do this! Is he expecting himself to do something beyond his abilities, beyond his reach! Is he really capable enough! Engulfed in number of dubieties associated with human life, he bemoans the need of money to realize a dream, which requires the sheer magnanimousness of nature! What ignites this quest of finding answers! Where are these answers!

Few lovely people who already know him would think he is under-estimating himself, he is not believing his abilities and perhaps it’s lack of confidence in this very moment. That’s it! But seriously, he knows it’s not about the confidence. He is posing some real questions and he really wants to confront them and bring out the answers.

He has been the one who always believes in putting in one’s best, but the outcomes of this approach are restrained by his abilities too! Isn’t it?

Though he feels inspired enough to try and work hard for the objectives he is thinking of, but it doesn’t mean he can do everything he wants!

He is not the one who has been topping the charts, but at the same time, he always found a way to follow, to lead a life with self respect and dignity. Just with the positive perspective in mind that whatever he would achieve, it would be his own and then he’ll see what is possible with that, he always keeps going! But surely this optimism doesn’t entail that he would be able to achieve whatever he can think of, even if it’s really constructive and for a good cause.

Definitely, this is neither the fear of failure nor the strict trepidation about future! He just wishes to know where he is headed- not to ruin the surprise hidden in future, but perhaps to ensure that things won’t shallow in the end!

The Eve of Marriage!

A day of celebration

The moments of ecstasy

You consent a relationship

Full of love and immense purity

Getting ready for the journey

Of felicity and pleasure

To experience the sense of togetherness

And witness this beautiful treasure

Life waits for you,

Spreading both its hands

Ready to lavish blessings

So you nurture eternal bonds

Qualities all you have

To make her life beautiful

With colors of love and respect

And turn everything cheerful

She comes into your life

In your beautiful heart she would remain

The bond of friendship and love

I wish she would always sustain

This relation, gentle and pure

I know, you would nourish

HE guides you through life,

And let your love flourish

Heartiest wishes for you, Pal

HE remains with you all the way

To help you make marriage vows

Mean what they really say

PS: Specially written for my Dear friend, Yogesh who is going to tie the knot of sanctity Tomorrow. Many Congratulations for the wedding Couple! Have a glittering day and a wonderful life ahead!

First Korean Wedding I attended!

One of my Korean colleagues got married last week and it was really very exciting for me to attend a Korean Wedding ceremony very first time.

First interesting thing, her Korean name is Hye-Seon and her fiancé’s name is Hyun-Seok, the names rhyme and almost same in terms of number and even type of characters used in their names! :)

So, we were supposed to reach there before the ceremony gets started so that we can take snaps and meet the wedding couple.

And we knew that it won’t be very long ceremony like we Indians have! So I thought it’s better to be before in time lest by the time we shall reach, half of the ceremony should already be over! :) So we decided to start 2.5 hours early, for 45 minutes distance!

We reached, well before it got started. We had lunch and were eagerly waiting for the ceremony to commence.

All the relatives were dressed properly and were waiting for the beautiful couple to enter into the wedding hall. And yes, there was a dress-code as well for both families- girl’s family in Pink and boy’s in violet! Cool! :)

A wedding ceremony, in any religion is a pure act of worship before God, reflecting joy, celebration, respect, dignity and love with an impression that they, as couple, have made a solemn, eternal covenant before HIM. And it was no different- a beautiful ambience when they get ready to sing the paeans of adoration. As in Christianity, they believe that God created marriage. In Genesis, it says, “it is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him”.

The Minister started the opening remarks with The Call to Worship and few instructions as they prepared to take those marriage vows. “You are making an exclusive commitment to each other that you would remain united as long as you shall live. Your love would never be diminished by adverse and difficult circumstances, and it is to endure until Death parts you”. Though It was completely in Korean language, but surely something like this only ;-).

Then they walked the white carpet! ;-)

Everyone is taking pictures including me and then it was a formal wedding picture ceremony with whole family, relatives and friends. And yes, formally, it was over!

Being native of a country where a marriage may take number of hours or even days, it was really intriguing to witness a marriage getting over within an hour! :)

And just see their faces: radiating with glow by the beautiful ambience and overwhelmed in emotions to embark a journey of felicity and pleasure! It’s lovely. And seeing them so much engrossed in happiness, I really thought its mere disarray in those impudent minds who we often find uttering, “Why should I get married! It would take away my freedom and all that!”

So what do you think!

Time for some philosophy now! :)

I think in simple words, it’s a form of “divine facility” given to human kind, having someone to accompany you in this journey of life!

When we take birth, our parents bring us up in the best possible way. They try to make their children inculcate all those values, culture and ethics human life is defined with. But in this process, they really forget what they want for themselves. Their children become their life in all aspects. So certainly one point comes in our life when we are grown up enough, able to lend a supportive hand to them and should try to switch roles and they need to be treated like children and taken care of, in that way.

And you really need a companion to do that. Obviously either mother or father is not the ideal choice for any child! So get married and try to be the “parents” of your “children”! :)

As I go through Facebook wall, or Orkut page, or GTalk status messages, a commonality I can figure out is that the desire of getting into the relationship has started tickling in almost everyone’s mind and heart. Some of them sound fictional, some of them real, but that’s for sure that they all are ready. :) It’s just that they are restrained by uncertainty of future and probably not sure about how it would transpire! [mast hai…jaldi hi nipat lenge sab :P]

By the way, I think nowadays as the definition of life is rapidly changing and the necessity of so called development is getting enforced, one tends to live life away from family, spend more time among the friends in college, colleagues in office etc. but the fact is that the way people are socialized, if not you, your friends would get married and soon they get a little busy in their own lives and suddenly this harsh realization crops up that probably you are getting left alone! And being alone even in the form of aloneness is not possible all the time, is not as easy as it sounds and a point comes when you probably want to give up. It’s not even necessarily about loneliness, but the actualization whether you are still emotionally healthy or not.

So the point is: get married to have a friend who would be there for you for lifetime. :)

I think these are good enough reasons to start thinking about getting ready to tie the knot of sanctity. So the verdict (;-)) is:

Somewhere, someone is surely there for you! Keep your eyes and heart open and let someone sneak into it! ;-)