Onset of a Beautiful Journey!

A beautiful journey got started when I met this amazing girl about five months back and now we together have traversed a milestone and we clearly see possibility of a beautiful future, which would not necessarily be guided by how good we are now, but definitely by how good we can become, for each other, for everyone who helped in orchestrating this unison, for every possible reason which conspired to bring us together, by inspiring each other in various ways and trade the path of mutual growth and betterment.

We got engaged last week and the beautiful ambience of seeing two families getting ready to formally become one, to announce the amalgamation of two different set of people getting ready to create something beautiful through this unison has set the tone of a future which not only is composed of responsibilities and challenges, but also has stored in the key to immense pleasure and happiness. It’s beautiful to be part of a relationship which puts you at the origin and encourages you to create a beautiful world around full of infinite possibilities which can only lead you to the ultimate apex of love and happiness.

This lifelong journey has begun and is going to be fueled by the incessant effort and objective of trying to become the perfect life partner to a nearly perfect girl! Love is special and when it comes into your life in its most beautiful form, it turns everything else also equally beautiful. I never knew, or imagined I can be loved so much by someone. I have not been able to understand why it’s so strong for her, how she’s been able to find it so special that she’s ready to live and share her entire life with me. Believe me it’s definitely not as simple and straightforward as it sounds. It takes a great deal of understanding and conviction to accept someone so wholesomely.

There comes in your life many people, who happen to like you, may appreciate the way you live but there is only such person who would let you know you are much more than just being liked, someone who would make you understand every moment that she is there for you, she shares her life with you. Though the process of marriage starts with a certain requirement of compatibility and traits of your interest, it meanders into an entirely different world of understanding. All those superficial points of mere compatibility go to rest and you happen to feel it from an entirely different plane altogether and that’s purely spiritual in nature. You just love that person. That’s it. You fail to find the answer of why you like her so much because love has gone beyond the words of decisive sense of implications. You just know it. You just live with it.

Amongst all sorts of obscurities a marriage knocks at your consciousness with, there is this sense of healthy positivity as well. We all know it comes with definitely a lot of responsibilities which you are only acquainted with in theory. So no matter how constructive you are with your thoughts, you would really like to look forward to measuring your performance as a more responsible person, most importantly responsible for different kind of emotions and responses from different kind of people. But it’s also true that when it’s right, it’s one of the most amazing things that can happen to you in your existence. Relationships, Empathy, Care, Trust; all these beautiful words begin to take their beautiful forms and you dwell in a world of immense love and affection.

One day someone comes into your life and makes you feel that no matter what happens she’s with you. She’s always going to be beside you. That’s heck of a confidence and positive feedback to your psyche. There is always constant source of positivity you feel when you think of her, whenever you see her, whenever just a glimpse of her finds place in your mind. An enchanting life element has got attached to the psyche, which makes you feel… life is beautiful.

Had I been a writer

Could express everything further

What I hold inside of me,

Feelings of mine, words to utter

All this change with sudden entrance

Not really I comprehend much for now

Heart at times finds itself

On an intriguing spree of what and how

How does all this change so soon!

You have come into my life like a beautiful boon

I’m starting to feel, this has really happened

Still can’t believe, this magnificence was ordained

That you were to come in my life

To impart my emotions a beautiful order

Life used to be simple, but looks now rather

Beautifully complicated, being in your fervor

Your presence in thoughts

Takes every care of my well being

I close my eyes, and thank my Lord

For orchestrating, this beautiful happening

My soul has begun to feel

And usually prompts with, pleasure and zeal

When every thought is found, introducing you to me

I know you’re no longer separated from me

Every moment, I rhyme with your vibes

 And I truly feel you, as an integral part of me

Your shades of presence and hues

Blissful, it feels with you,

I just go on to thank the force,

That conspired to bring together, me and you

Being with you, would sail through life’s offerings

Even if they are, No matter how bitter

Your love would always be my strength

No time to worry about, life’s fears and jitter

With blessings of our parents, Grace of Almighty attorney,

Let’s begin to explore, this beautiful journey

Would nurture an eternal bond of, friendship and love

Let’s take this vow, in presence of His glory

Following the nuances of, crafting something beatific

Let’s weave together, a lovely, beautiful story

A trip back home-abode of two beautiful angels of my life-Next phase!

Trip back home is usually a parents-son affair, which is endearing as always, but this time it was even more than that. My elder sister along with my nephew and niece was around, so it was one beautiful feeling to be there, icing on a usually delicious breath-taking cake. Needless to say, I had such a great time and enjoyed it so very much that no part of me was feeling like coming back. Huhh…this transition is always difficult.
One big difference I have experienced over the years is that when you are with your parents, your close ones for whom you are an integral part of their lives and emotional space, everything is found to be falling in place, but when you are away, you make efforts and try to keep everything in place. That’s why I strongly feel that we always live two personalities, one which enjoys spontaneity, always feel like doing crazy things and hopelessly in love with what is happening around and other, which long for being of first kind, but feels responsible about keep creating reasons of happiness to enjoy while living the first kind. In other words, at the very primitive level of emotional health and consciousness where your heart enjoys its fantasy, you feel as if everything is out of place once you are away from those close ones, but soon mind comes into picture to suggest that big part of that happiness is because you are doing fine when you are away and you start coming back to normal and begin to clearly see what is important in the moment. So both personalities are important and they are very intimately connected with each other and help to make you feel collective and composed.
As I said, this transition is difficult, even as it’s always a beautiful information to have that you are hopelessly in love with those beautiful angels and love them beyond your control and every string of your heart knows that they reciprocate it beautifully.

A trip back home-abode of two beautiful angels of my life!

I am just back from home, after spending ten beautiful days with two beautiful angels of my life; two amazing people who have been the source and origin of tunes, the lyrics, and the symphony of every beautiful piece of music that Nature played in my life. Parents are just like that. It’s ineffable to express what they do for their children. Those words never existed and could never be invented! You just feel the eternal bliss of having them in your life. Obviously, the feeling to be with them, to be able to see them around each day when you wake up, is second to none and this feeling is more subtle and palpable when your heart knows, in the last few years it has spent just a countable days with them. 

Since the day I joined college, I haven’t been able to spend much time with them and just visited them during semester breaks when I was in college and now mostly at some of these festival occasions. Of course, I really miss them whenever I am away and I feel there is a different being in me, which lives its life only when I am with these two amazing people; I truly feel as if it resumes from where I left when I was home last time! You just feel so safe and secure; you can be that extra careless; you can show that extra bit of negligence; you feel as if nothing can go wrong with you as long as you are with them. You are not being judged and no matter what you do, you’re going to remain the dearest for them as you always were. Life just blossoms into its most beautiful facets. Being with them, you always find yourself full of strength. Subtle expressions on their faces with serene tranquillity tell you a loud that everything is fine; you are sailing through an ocean of love, just enjoy it. There is so much love and beauty; there is so much of it.

Like any son would do, I love them a lot. I adore them for everything they did for me. But apart from loving them as my parents, I also admire them for being the kind of people they are. I can indefatigably go on writing about their established ways of life. I feel one of the most amazing things Parents do is bringing out the spiritual dimension in a child’s being. The very first seed of spirituality is always sowed by the parents who devote their entire energy in shaping up their children’s life. They influence a child’s psyche in varied ways and making a child realize the importance of being connected to the source is one of them. As you grow up, many a times, it happens that you do something good and get appreciated for it, and suddenly you tend to ask yourself where it has come from, who taught you these things! And there you probably realize that it all flows in genes, their blessings get reflected in your deeds, it’s fruition of their lifelong incessant efforts in letting you learn the values they always wished you imbibe in and then create a niche of your own, keeping those values as soul of living.

It’s so amazing to still see that incessant powerful urge in them to give you more even when they have spent their entire life doing the same. Sometimes I wonder and feel like asking them, ‘what is that which is left in you that you haven’t given me!’ and with more than twenty five years of benevolence over me, still they are always ready to give. So amazingly lovely it is. 

Now since you are going through that phase of life when you have a bunch of experiences with you and formed an approach towards life, Nature tries to teach you new aspects of human manifestation fused with responsibilities and all those pertinent intricacies of it and if you are consciously attending these teachings, you happen to have these very discernible unspoken reverberations and unsaid conversations within, ‘Though they have done so much and introduced innumerable happiness in my life for all these years that I can't just pay them back even a bit. But still I urge YOU to please make me potent enough to know everything what they desire, what they desired when I was unable to lend a supportive hand; which crossed their mind even for a while, but sacrificed it every time while bringing me up because I want to give them that every small happiness! I know they would never tell me; so I ask YOU, the Almighty for strength. God, you have been so kind to me, introducing two extremely beautiful people who were the origin and source of every wonderful thing happened to me, introducing two angels for me even before my existence! Hopefully I could do justice to my life by understanding and doing at least this much!!!’

Parents are the two finest musicians of their children’s life and not wrong to say, they truly specialize in background music! You might be doing great in the central plot and getting all the accolades, and back of your mind, in the background, among the constituents of every beautiful thing coming to you, you know it very well there are these two incredible people, no matter if they’re far away, who constantly deliver prayers and blessings for your well being and form the strings of the music of your life.

Art of developing trust

It takes time for trust to get developed. Every possible relationship needs it to flourish to its highest potential and culminate into ecstasy for everyone involved. But there exists a definite transient response which every person goes through, mostly affected by the long history of understandings, beliefs and set points of personality. So it’s in fact a very natural phenomenon in the field of psychology. Moreover, it helps the growth process too as misunderstandings are just bound to arise when people of different kind of history and assumptions interact, but how they get rid of them would truly be decided by their sensibility and awareness. So later if it turns out positive, it corroborates the fact that you have got the ability in you to define a common consciousness which can serve as a catalyst to reach and feel the beauty of relationships which they are blessed with. If it is otherwise, it lets you know that you can’t even find a common field of thoughts where you can grow together, you haven’t been able to develop the degree of acceptance and it could eventually be mutually unbeneficial association to have! So it’s better to part your ways and look for the possibilities you can align yourself with.

One of the most challenging aspects of this process is to deal with your personal traits. It happens at times that people stick to “nourishing” their traits rather than switching their focus on bigger purpose. The most important part of this entire process is to realize whether you helped the process or not. You must be constructive enough to give it what it needs. When you happen to help things building up with a certain sense of responsibility, know it is the right way to have. You have to have the ability and interest in learning each other, contributing to reach a consensus which would lead to a healthy situation for everyone to take heed of and learn!

Once you are up with this thought process, transients would settle down at some point of time and then you would realize your beauty of thoughts have led you to a situation where it’s all good, rather better than even your expectations.

Again these transients can be quite complicated at times. Things don’t happen in the way you want, but suddenly they take some other route, we tend to think in the first place that there is no reason why this is not happening, why that is happening. We feel disconnected from the source responsible for such happenings. But there is a definite plan behind it. If the relationship can go through these bad times, you learn that it has got the potential to weather any storm later. There is nothing wrong in doing mistakes, but just take responsibility for them and let yourself embark on a journey of getting better. Let the thought “this is all because of me, now it’s my responsibility to make things better and I can’t be tired till it’s done!” reverberate within your consciousness. Keep your egos aside and let your determination of making everything fine narrate the future story.

It’s just that we have to be aware of the mistakes done. Instead of sticking to old conditioning and belief, open yourself for the newer possibilities, challenge your set points which are forcing you to remain rigid with your malfunctioned understandings. As soon as those transients settle, you know what you have achieved. You have built a ground for the relationship to explore its spontaneity and reach a situation where it’s nothing but a divine source of pleasure.

Initial Feelings of Transition from Korea to India!

It takes a great deal of courage for you to be receptive to yourself while being ready for the exploration, which is a common underlying property of all existing souls. It desires to be explored in all aspects- professional, emotional and spiritual. Every mind has a life of its own. At any point of time, it does carry a positive or negative charge of thoughts, or it may not have any charge at all. You just traverse with them and reach a point when you are accompanied by another set of thoughts and mind moves on. These thoughts drive our mind to be on an incessant path towards fulfillment in all possible dimensions, leads to conducive space for self assessment and introspection and this fulfillment is not characterized merely by the Booleans of success and failure, but by the process that helped to refine our thought process. It unveils certain traits of our personality and helps to learn ourselves better and later remains with us in the form of experiences. And is it really necessary to weigh everything with a balance of success and failure and to impart imbalances to our mind, which looks for learning, to get better with experiences and most importantly seeks for the spiritual connection with higher self!

I moved to Korea few years back on a journey of exploration, which imparted a beautiful profound portrayal of thoughts and emotions. I feel the grace that it happened. After a very enriching stint in Korea, I am back to India, the place I was born, the place I really belong to! It feels great to be back. It was a feeling of being in heaven (if one calls it the place of most happiness), as long as I was in home with my parents. Just few days back, I came to Bangalore, started working and what I felt in these first few days came to me as a surprise disguised in the form of shock.

It’s even more surprising to state that I am really not in the best of mood after coming to Bangalore. Of course, there is immense positivity about coming back to India even as there is anguish over the deteriorated condition of almost everything. Then you tend to ask how much we care. How much we care about what is happening around. Few years back, Bangalore used to be called a paradise in terms of weather and climate conditions, but unfortunately my experience has not been very positive till date. It’s good and better than many of other states, but no longer as good as it used to be. I feel as if we have put ourselves for an incessant dual with Nature. It creates everything for us to have a healthy and enriching life, but we do almost everything possible to make our living environment and atmosphere worse and don’t really bother much to help Mother Nature in the process of nourishment of world. Then we face natural calamities as angered natural consequences and then we cry over what transpires. And the bigger fact is that we don’t learn from those our mistakes and soon we get back to our usual nature of being against Nature. Over the time we human beings have matured into such hopelessly shameless creatures that we won’t stop until it’s all over! So even if 2012 doesn’t bring the doom’s day, we are doing enough to let it come soon!

There is always loathing whenever such feelings crowd in. If we had devoted our energies to relationships rather than absolute consumerism, we’d have all been much happier and contended. Whenever we listen to the music of 70’s, most of us love it, instantly connect with it, so there is something in it, something in us in common that we tend to like it so much. We love the simplicity. We love natural aspects fused with innocence and civility in innovation. We are originally emotional beings. But slowly Serenity is lost in our relationships. There is so much noise that the voice of love is lost somewhere. We are losing out on the connection with a world within us. We don’t often want to face our consciousness which questions us repeatedly that you were not born like this, you were much better, what have you done to yourself! We have lost the dare to be honest with ourselves. In fact, the problem with human psychology is that long term threats don’t affect us much. We have this ingrained tendency to find immediate gratification, no matter if in that process, we might be digging a definite doom for ourselves. Yesterday was Mother’s day and the Mother who needs care the most is our Mother Nature. She is really suffering a lot. May God bless us with intelligence to at least inculcate few habits in our daily lives, which can help Nature to be able to nourish us for long!

Moving back to India: A constructive end and A fresher beginning

Next week I am moving back to India. There is immense pleasure about going back even as I do feel subtle uneasiness about separation from this place which surely would remain an enriching chapter of my life for numerous reasons. Nature extends its benevolence beyond limits and even when I was here in Korea far away from my own country, it took care of me and I feel the gratitude for what I learnt here, the love and affection I got from the people I met here. In such moments, I completely turn inward, within my dense introversion. This is not something I deliberately choose to do, but I feel so fragile psychologically that I perhaps live with this fear that something would definitely go wrong for everything seems to have been taken over by heart! And I know it would remain so till I leave. So effectively I don’t happen to do anything much during these days and get carried along with this emotional experience. It’s very instinctual. It just happens. Subtle weakness about the fact that soon I would be far away from this place, which was so conducive in its own way for my growth as a person and definitely as a professional, has shifted me back and I am going through the flashback of my two and a half years in Korea. I behold. I am confined within this. 

Being alone gives a space to introspect ourselves and it can be an amazing learning experience of self discovery if we set our mind to it. It becomes an integral part of our scheme of evolution, but as a normal human being would be, I used to be sad at times. As we all know, there is nothing wrong with it. It’s possible once in a while, but again you can’t feel excused for this if you keep feeling that for a long time and there is one aspect to it which becomes important as we grow. We have to be responsible even for our thoughts if they can start affecting things adversely. We can’t lose the hold on what such situation has to offer even if it is extended beyond a limit. There exists an appropriate response for us to take, more because how much we can assimilate, how much we are capable to grasp the learning’s is mainly defined by our degree of awareness and as it expands, instead of adopting the ways of passivity, we begin to react in a constructive way. And in fact, whenever we tend to categorize something as “sadness”, it is most likely the outcome of unnecessary abstraction in our own thoughts or disconnect with our inner self. This revelation unearthed the layers of spiritual beauty, which says that when the possible horizons are pushed and inability to learn more about what transpires within the spheres of discernible world of thoughts knocks the door of your mind, which started feeling what it never felt before, it’s time to alter the set points of your personality, augment the ability to grasp learning’s of life and that’s where the power of spirituality and meditation soothes us and shows us a way to follow.

On the other hand, I met some really amazing people here, amazing in the way they live their lives, the way they set forth examples for others to follow. I really learnt a lot. Since there are no Indians around the place I stay, I used to be traversing alone during weekdays and mostly during weekends, I used to meet these friends. So there was this very intriguing transition that I used to experience, as if I used to gather immense positivity from them and then use it constructively over the weekdays, sinking in the learning’s galore that aloneness offer, being a wonderful teacher through self contemplation and introspection. And as I am ready to go back now, so many beautiful feelings crown in on my mind and I wish to thank everyone who was the reason for so many beautiful moments. 

But you just feel running out of words. You feel astonished about the fact where your vocabulary goes in such moments, you switch from English to Hindi, Hindi to English, but the best you can do is to splutter! That’s what happened when some of my close friends and families recently organized a get-together before my departure. I don’t remember really what I spoke. The fact that they are gathered just for me to wish me luck for my future completely overwhelmed me and it took some good time to come back in rather normal state to comprehend what transpired. I was very touched. May God bless them all with all the happiness and with power and patience to go through all inevitabilities of life!

Keeping in mind my decision of going back, I think we all should try to be specific and clear about what we want, based on how we learn the intricacies of life and understand life as the journey of self discovery. By being specific, we can’t mean being rigid. So specificity in desire is important but not with this thought that if it doesn’t happen, life would be hell because if we do so, we are trying to constrain Nature and even suspecting the infinite intelligence that it works with. We must free our desire to let it acquire its actual content and even the package it would come in. Thus specificity in desire serves two purposes: it gives our desire a framework to manifest into and secondly, it shows that at least we are doing our job fine. There is a lot in our hand for having the power to choose and for owning a thinking mind. It’s nice to specify desire based on what we have learnt about ourselves and then let Nature decide what is good for us. We should be happy about that fact that end result would come from somewhere, someone, characterized by the highest intelligence. It eases up our work and in fact, we would completely mess up our life if we are allowed to decide everything whatever happens in our lives. So we should be grateful to God who blessed each one of us with a destiny that is not limited to our limited intelligence and it keeps fascination of journey alive. 

Personal growth in the field of consciousness should extend towards our family, our friends, our surroundings to impart an effect with views, with our demeanor having a consciously pragmatic approach fused with simplicity, that helps to play all your roles in life with more passion, with ecstasy of giving and expand in the service of people who were not so fortunate enough, who struggle for even the basic necessities of life, who remain devoid of comforts and luxuries that our parents could give us. It’s a responsibility and such awareness forms a vision to lead a meaningful life and being with this quest of keep living a meaningful life, I hopefully add more meaning to it.

I feel the grace. I am grateful to the force which orchestrated and made this happen. I am going back to India and this inception more than specificity in desire, is driven by the infinite intelligence of cosmos, marked by destiny. God endowed everyone with it and life moves on, for next objectives.

An Insight of Extended Aloneness

Sometimes I notice something different within me and even hours of contemplation doesn’t end up anywhere! What ignites this quest of finding answers! Which part of my emotional being is willing to contemplate new horizons! There are always activities that get transformed into thoughts and turn into the vision of life. And aloneness for sure is one beauty in disguise that allows different aspects of our being to go deeper into the journey of self discovery. When the process is on its way, there is no more fascinating phenomenon taking place within the vicinities of personal psychological world full of emotions and beliefs.

Giving ourselves time for self introspection and self assessment is one good thing that we can do for us. It not only makes us audacious enough to question ourselves, but prepares us to learn what we could do better, what can be done better, where we lack, what kind of learning’s our character is eagerly asking for. In fact, we owe a lot to this aloneness because the best of the learning’s we ever had, were the outcome of this space when we tend introspect our actions and responses and dare to be honest with ourselves. And it’s quite a revelation to comprehend that once we set out on the path of self exploration, life unveils the ultimate growth process to make us a more elaborated individual who is gradually gaining a wider space of thoughts, nurturing a relaxed approach to understand the intricacies of life and turning into a better human being. Moreover, to be able to even manage all those seemingly small things related to setting up home is surely an addition to overall growth for it makes us feel responsible for every single thing happening to us as it forms daily regime and the habits inculcated in daily life form the basic elements of overall character and well being.
But what if it seems to be prolonged beyond a certain limit? Am I no longer able to grasp the teachings such lonesome environment in the form of solitude exposes us to? Is there some radical change needed in the whole ambience? The mistake we are vulnerable to in this situation is that we adopt the ways of passivity. Probably that’s an ingrained tendency with human behavior and instead of closely experiencing those, we often opt to get away from them and seek for some immediate gratification, but being with it and letting our consciousness realize the essence of it can unveil a new paradigm of altering old conditioning and belief if they are supposed to be. It’s opening up of a new dimension of understanding which defies all pre-existing notions and even gives rise to undesired emotional responses. So it surely asks for some careful assessment.
There are few immediate and obvious responses like getting married, going back to India etc. In fact, these are two beautiful possibilities, which have certainly got the strength to change psyche, but since they are time and fate-dependent too, there is definitely something else as well where the answers of such anxiety lie. There could be few possibilities as far as I can understand. Nature doesn’t work that way. It can’t let dwell in despair for some time-dependent features to appear and merely waiting for the time to heal is of little help, so there exists an appropriate response for us to take. We have got the spiritual dimension in our being, which is nourished by healthy anxiety of the mind to look for the poetry that resides beyond the usual aspects of dull prose. Where does it lead to? I contemplate, I behold.