Moving back to India: A constructive end and A fresher beginning

Next week I am moving back to India. There is immense pleasure about going back even as I do feel subtle uneasiness about separation from this place which surely would remain an enriching chapter of my life for numerous reasons. Nature extends its benevolence beyond limits and even when I was here in Korea far away from my own country, it took care of me and I feel the gratitude for what I learnt here, the love and affection I got from the people I met here. In such moments, I completely turn inward, within my dense introversion. This is not something I deliberately choose to do, but I feel so fragile psychologically that I perhaps live with this fear that something would definitely go wrong for everything seems to have been taken over by heart! And I know it would remain so till I leave. So effectively I don’t happen to do anything much during these days and get carried along with this emotional experience. It’s very instinctual. It just happens. Subtle weakness about the fact that soon I would be far away from this place, which was so conducive in its own way for my growth as a person and definitely as a professional, has shifted me back and I am going through the flashback of my two and a half years in Korea. I behold. I am confined within this. 

Being alone gives a space to introspect ourselves and it can be an amazing learning experience of self discovery if we set our mind to it. It becomes an integral part of our scheme of evolution, but as a normal human being would be, I used to be sad at times. As we all know, there is nothing wrong with it. It’s possible once in a while, but again you can’t feel excused for this if you keep feeling that for a long time and there is one aspect to it which becomes important as we grow. We have to be responsible even for our thoughts if they can start affecting things adversely. We can’t lose the hold on what such situation has to offer even if it is extended beyond a limit. There exists an appropriate response for us to take, more because how much we can assimilate, how much we are capable to grasp the learning’s is mainly defined by our degree of awareness and as it expands, instead of adopting the ways of passivity, we begin to react in a constructive way. And in fact, whenever we tend to categorize something as “sadness”, it is most likely the outcome of unnecessary abstraction in our own thoughts or disconnect with our inner self. This revelation unearthed the layers of spiritual beauty, which says that when the possible horizons are pushed and inability to learn more about what transpires within the spheres of discernible world of thoughts knocks the door of your mind, which started feeling what it never felt before, it’s time to alter the set points of your personality, augment the ability to grasp learning’s of life and that’s where the power of spirituality and meditation soothes us and shows us a way to follow.

On the other hand, I met some really amazing people here, amazing in the way they live their lives, the way they set forth examples for others to follow. I really learnt a lot. Since there are no Indians around the place I stay, I used to be traversing alone during weekdays and mostly during weekends, I used to meet these friends. So there was this very intriguing transition that I used to experience, as if I used to gather immense positivity from them and then use it constructively over the weekdays, sinking in the learning’s galore that aloneness offer, being a wonderful teacher through self contemplation and introspection. And as I am ready to go back now, so many beautiful feelings crown in on my mind and I wish to thank everyone who was the reason for so many beautiful moments. 

But you just feel running out of words. You feel astonished about the fact where your vocabulary goes in such moments, you switch from English to Hindi, Hindi to English, but the best you can do is to splutter! That’s what happened when some of my close friends and families recently organized a get-together before my departure. I don’t remember really what I spoke. The fact that they are gathered just for me to wish me luck for my future completely overwhelmed me and it took some good time to come back in rather normal state to comprehend what transpired. I was very touched. May God bless them all with all the happiness and with power and patience to go through all inevitabilities of life!

Keeping in mind my decision of going back, I think we all should try to be specific and clear about what we want, based on how we learn the intricacies of life and understand life as the journey of self discovery. By being specific, we can’t mean being rigid. So specificity in desire is important but not with this thought that if it doesn’t happen, life would be hell because if we do so, we are trying to constrain Nature and even suspecting the infinite intelligence that it works with. We must free our desire to let it acquire its actual content and even the package it would come in. Thus specificity in desire serves two purposes: it gives our desire a framework to manifest into and secondly, it shows that at least we are doing our job fine. There is a lot in our hand for having the power to choose and for owning a thinking mind. It’s nice to specify desire based on what we have learnt about ourselves and then let Nature decide what is good for us. We should be happy about that fact that end result would come from somewhere, someone, characterized by the highest intelligence. It eases up our work and in fact, we would completely mess up our life if we are allowed to decide everything whatever happens in our lives. So we should be grateful to God who blessed each one of us with a destiny that is not limited to our limited intelligence and it keeps fascination of journey alive. 

Personal growth in the field of consciousness should extend towards our family, our friends, our surroundings to impart an effect with views, with our demeanor having a consciously pragmatic approach fused with simplicity, that helps to play all your roles in life with more passion, with ecstasy of giving and expand in the service of people who were not so fortunate enough, who struggle for even the basic necessities of life, who remain devoid of comforts and luxuries that our parents could give us. It’s a responsibility and such awareness forms a vision to lead a meaningful life and being with this quest of keep living a meaningful life, I hopefully add more meaning to it.

I feel the grace. I am grateful to the force which orchestrated and made this happen. I am going back to India and this inception more than specificity in desire, is driven by the infinite intelligence of cosmos, marked by destiny. God endowed everyone with it and life moves on, for next objectives.

Completed Two Years In Korea

22nd October, 2008 was the day when I first stepped in South Korea, so last Friday marked the completion of my two valuable years in Korea, valuable in the sense that it unveiled numerous traits, potentials, expressions, vulnerabilities that probably even I was not acquainted with. Anyway, that’s how this process of discernment unfolds, isn’t it! As time passes by and the way we get to define a learning process for ourselves and in turn learn to expose ourselves professionally, emotionally, spiritually, it sets us on a journey of awareness and if we set our mind to those cognitive processes, we are aware of the transformations we are going through.
Being away from your family and all the close ones and off from the environment that inherently interacts with the dynamics lying beneath surface static, is not as easy as it sounds. It took a real good time to identify with distinctive vibes this new environment used to generate. At times, it really questioned my state of emotional health. Even now, at times I do experience subtle emotional fragility within myself, or to say, a little aberration in my thought process and perhaps lose unison between heart and mind. But instead of adopting the path of passivity, I prefer to come to terms with it, realize it in its real form and feel the gratitude of having such beautiful people in my life that I tend to love them even beyond my control. So despite being in different sorts of negativities, I find myself closer to blissful state of mind. It helped me to go deeper, farther in the journey within. And as I try to scan through the whole picture, the words and phrases like Appreciation for life’s richness, absence of ego, humility, being receptive to all possibilities, allowing love etc resonate my mind and I feel the sense of gratitude for everything I have, everything I got at various junctures of my life. And I get reminded of the very pure and sacred truth that my parents have been the source of all the positivity’s that embrace me in this moment, with this state of mind because they are the ones who had sowed the seeds for the way I opted to learn!
The decision of coming to Korea happened to be a blessing in disguise since it produced a conducive environment for my overall growth as a human being and hopefully it would help me in taking important decisions later in life. So in a way, something happens in life that marks the beginning of a phase, which has a bundle of experiences stored in and touches upon the elements of growth. Life keeps bringing about new designs even as the old designs start to crumble and giving attention to these transformations along with nourishing them with the process of introspection sets us out on a journey that is there to teach the intricacies of our existence and help us to improve as a human being. Moreover, we need to extend this awareness, that assists constructiveness and in fact, we are living in the age where emergence of a global mind is necessary. We need to keep in mind that wherever we are, we are talking humanity, serving humanity. We all need to grow into a consciousness that helps us to feel universality and a profound context of commonality among all of us. We all wish to see peace, harmony, happiness around and thinking about the well being of Mother Nature is something we can take care of to start with. It is not very difficult to comprehend that if we all devote our energies to relationships and common well being rather than consumerism, we would all wind up much happier. Simple to say, our personal lives have to manifest those values that we wish to see on a global scale and in fact, that is the only way to bring out that never ending happiness and pleasure we all crave for and make our Mother Earth a better place to live.

Importance of Inner Vigilence

Life is an incessant journey of learning ourselves. It teaches us everything we want, to lead a life with self-respect and dignity. We just need to be attentive to our mind and heart. And at different points of time in our life, Nature takes the responsibility to make us learn what we really should.

To be able to do something in its right context and form is complicated to its credit; A form that is discernible to your own perception, which engenders out of your personal prerogatives and is confirmed by an acceptance from within that you would never regret doing that at any point of time in future. One really gets confused at times by the intricacies of circumstances and end up not to do something outside the block. But when we dare to be honest with ourselves and come to terms with reality, that’s when we do enjoy the adventures of life, while exploring many horizons and paths of possibilities. However, it depends on several important aspects too, one of them could be a good correlation between your thoughts and the ability to turn and manifest them into reality.

In fact, Life is about spending lifetime learning about yourself. As time passes by, we all get to know what is good or bad, right or wrong, more important fact is what and how we practice them.

We all are destined to get our share of pleasures and sorrows. Complacency may kill! Remorse’s and resentments may hurt! So we should remember that aftermath of every event, sad or happy should be to learn from what had transpired. Learning never ceases. The day we stop learning, life has really lost its inherent meaning. All happenings of life in the form of mistakes and accomplishments, serve as sources of learning. But the problem exists when we refrain to learn and to inculcate the learning’s in our own lives and in turn tend to repeat those mistakes again and again, or indulge in complacency.

This essentiality of learning, introspection and of being aware can better be called the process of inner vigilance, which needs to be practiced in order to attain pure intelligence in the form of core consciousness.

Intrigued Fear of being what you are!

This time New Year day was very different! Perhaps This thoughtful state of mind turning everything different nowadays! And this time, all those thoughts were dwelling around the fact that Time is fleeting. It really waits for no one. It keeps you on your toes and lets you realize what you are, with every experience you go through, every moment you live! Imparting enough opportunities to learn, to grow as a professional, as a brother, as a son, as a friend, as an individual! New learning’s and you are getting ready for new experiences which Time is ready to give! 

There are many things you practice in this journey of life, but there is a fear deep within for being human even about the positive aspects, those which also get along with a Fear!

For your parents, you are precocious; but you understand that this precociousness comes with a lot of responsibility, so Fear if sometime you couldn’t empathize what your parents wanted or desired! 

For your sisters, you are the bundle of solutions for every existing problem in the world! But Fear if they get into a problem which you couldn’t have a solution of! 

In your work fraternity, you are professionally good; But Fear lest you get entrapped in complacency sometime because you want to make sure you are not thinking about something to be easy for you know yourself the best. You are just audacious enough, who’s trying to learn the extent of your own limits, thus to remain conscious, to remind yourself about your extents, about your capabilities, about your strengths and weaknesses and keep them in the right proportion to make things work! 

For your friends, you are cogent, you think good, you have an approach towards life; a life with number of very normal things, which they find unique and special; but seldom you live with a Fear of an intuition that you have to be at your best throughout, to retain your friends else you may lose them even if they are among the best ones! 

Indeed, there is auspiciousness about all such thoughts, but just restrained and self-possessed with uncertainty!

So you turn to Almighty to ask for strength, to keep performing in all aspects, to remain not only philosophical but pragmatic too, to practice everything what you have learnt from your own continuous introspections, reflections and repercussions of the people and to retain this temperament which helps to obviate such fears. And perhaps you realize you feel elderly enough to be ready for greater responsibilities, with the dawn of 2010!

Richness of Thoughts, But What If it is restrained by your Ability of Creation!

Sometimes he sounds more intelligent than how much he actually is! 
Sometimes he sounds more stupid than how much he really is!

He instantly felt today he needs to talk about few things; when he needs not sound intelligent; when he needs not explain what he wants to say! Few beautiful thoughts find home in his heart, and desire to practice and inspiration to manifest them into reality gives enough confidence to go ahead and follow his heart!

But suddenly a mercurial thought in mind; is he really able to do this! Is he expecting himself to do something beyond his abilities, beyond his reach! Is he really capable enough! Engulfed in number of dubieties associated with human life, he bemoans the need of money to realize a dream, which requires the sheer magnanimousness of nature! What ignites this quest of finding answers! Where are these answers!

Few lovely people who already know him would think he is under-estimating himself, he is not believing his abilities and perhaps it’s lack of confidence in this very moment. That’s it! But seriously, he knows it’s not about the confidence. He is posing some real questions and he really wants to confront them and bring out the answers.

He has been the one who always believes in putting in one’s best, but the outcomes of this approach are restrained by his abilities too! Isn’t it?

Though he feels inspired enough to try and work hard for the objectives he is thinking of, but it doesn’t mean he can do everything he wants!

He is not the one who has been topping the charts, but at the same time, he always found a way to follow, to lead a life with self respect and dignity. Just with the positive perspective in mind that whatever he would achieve, it would be his own and then he’ll see what is possible with that, he always keeps going! But surely this optimism doesn’t entail that he would be able to achieve whatever he can think of, even if it’s really constructive and for a good cause.

Definitely, this is neither the fear of failure nor the strict trepidation about future! He just wishes to know where he is headed- not to ruin the surprise hidden in future, but perhaps to ensure that things won’t shallow in the end!

Why this temperament???

Throughout this life journey, we meet numerous people. Some strange, some affectionate; some encouraging, some demoralizing; some accompanying, some disturbing!
Or sometimes we meet the same person quite frequently like in workplace under different situations, different circumstances, which unfold different traits of his/her character and that’s how we learn that person.
Every human on this planet lives in the quest of attaining happiness, and surprisingly true but the definition or even the ways to achieve it differ person to person. And even so different that their ways could be conflicting.

One’s happiness is coming at the cost of other’s ! what forces this delusion in those minds!

Instead of improving oneself, one tries to disprove other! What’s this approach to live!

One little thing forces an aberration in one’s behavior and response,… out of insecurity or because of intention to prove superiority!

One’s incessant effort to fight with others, instead of being introspective and having conversation with oneself! What’s this reluctance!

What’s the pleasure in being aggressively cynical, to think what you do is right and what others do is simply wrong and absurd!

Such thoughts prompt in mind, with vulnerability to see it around in some or the other form!